Funny jokes I found on MySpace
A teenager takes a seat on a bench next to a middle aged man reading a newspaper. After a few minutes the man looks over and stares intentively on the youth's multicolored mowhawk. The teenager looks over at the man and says "What's the matter old man, never done anything interesting in your life?"
The man responeded with "I once got drunk and had sex with a parrot, I was just wondering if you were my son."
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What do you do with 365 used condoms?
Make them into a tire and call it a good year.
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This one is good:
A woman is speeding down the highway, comes up to a bridge, flies over it. Well a cop was sitting under the bridge, targeting speeders, and clocks her doing 20 over.
He pulls her over, and being a smartass, says, "Well, what's your hurry?"
The woman says, "I really have to get to work.
the cop says, "oh? And what do you do for a living?"
Woman says, "I'm a rectum stretcher."
The cop says, "What? What the hell is a rectum stretcher?"
Woman says. "Well, first i have to slide in 1 finger very very slowly, then another finger, till i can get my whole hand in. Then i slowly put in the other hand. When i have both of them in, I slowly start to stretch out the rectum, a little at a time, till it's about 6 feet big."
The cop says, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?!?!?"
Woman says, "You give him a radar gun and park him under a bridge."
The man responeded with "I once got drunk and had sex with a parrot, I was just wondering if you were my son."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you do with 365 used condoms?
Make them into a tire and call it a good year.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This one is good:
A woman is speeding down the highway, comes up to a bridge, flies over it. Well a cop was sitting under the bridge, targeting speeders, and clocks her doing 20 over.
He pulls her over, and being a smartass, says, "Well, what's your hurry?"
The woman says, "I really have to get to work.
the cop says, "oh? And what do you do for a living?"
Woman says, "I'm a rectum stretcher."
The cop says, "What? What the hell is a rectum stretcher?"
Woman says. "Well, first i have to slide in 1 finger very very slowly, then another finger, till i can get my whole hand in. Then i slowly put in the other hand. When i have both of them in, I slowly start to stretch out the rectum, a little at a time, till it's about 6 feet big."
The cop says, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?!?!?"
Woman says, "You give him a radar gun and park him under a bridge."
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